Do you over-apologise? Therapist shares tips on how to stop

In a relationship, when we apologise a lot, it tends to undermine our value and presence. Be it a simple sorry or a big apology, when we get into the habit of apologising for everything, our confidence takes a hit, and we start to believe that we are responsible for everything going wrong. “Frequent apologies can undermine our confidence and send mixed signals to others about our self-worth. It’s important to evaluate our tendency to apologise excessively and to consider how this habit affects both ourselves and our interactions with others,” wrote Therapist Shaurya Gahlawat in a social media post. The Therapist further shared a few tips on how we can stop over-apologising.

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Recognise the root cause:

We need to work on self-awareness and try to dig deeper and find the reasons why we tend to over-apologise. Be it insecurity or fear of conflict or a need for validation – when we know the root cause of this habit, we can address it in a better way.

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Replace apologies with appreciation:

Instead of apologising for every small thing, we can replace it with appreciation for their patience and perseverence for dealing with the situation.

Pause and reflect:

Every situation does not need an apology. Before we instantly apologise for something, we can take a pause and try to understand if there is an alternate way of communicating the emotions in the situation.

Rephrase the statement:

Each statement should not sound like an apology – this demeans our own value. We can try to rephrase the statement to communicate our needs in a better way.

Set boundaries:

We need not apologise for asserting our needs and expectations. When we do that, we end up losing our value. We should set boundaries about ourselves and prioritise our needs and wants and should be absolutely unapologetic about it.