Chemistry fizzled out after moving in with your partner? It's the unfortunate ‘Roommate Syndrome’
Roommate Syndrome develops when you start to feel distant from your partner, and they become a regular person you're sharing the room with.
Moving in is a major milestone that kindles passion in a relationship. The intimacy of being under the same roof with your partner is comforting, allowing you to nurture your emotional bond. The sense of togetherness in a live-in relationship, which was longed for in the early days, is finally achieved. But over time, this excitement can start to fade. The blazing fire of the relationship slowly dims, and the lacklustre phase begins when the exciting novelty of the situation wears off. Your partner may start to feel more like a roommate, with no sparks left in between.
This can happen when managing the household comes with its decision-making friction on several matters that can pull the relationship in bad directions. Or when the lifestyle is too busy to spend quality time with each other and you barely see each other or engage in meaningful conversations. Without spending quality time with each other, the emotional connection weakens, reducing the excitement left for physical intimacy as well. After the initial fun days, the relationship feels more like a routine activity. Time management and open communication will help mitigate this problem and bring the partners close. Here's how to get out of Roommate Syndrome.
What’s working, what’s not
Urgently address the distance between you and your partner. Something isn’t working out and is causing all the unpleasant hiccups. Conflicting lifestyles, lack of communication, or simply unspoken expectations could be the root cause. By understanding the practical problems and emotional distance, you become more empathetic when you look at the issue from each other’s point of view. Identifying what’s causing the disconnect is the first step toward making meaningful changes.
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Rebuild the connection
After resolving the issues, start fresh. Rebuild the emotional and physical connection by spending quality time together. Take time out of your busy schedule to re-experience the fun of your relationship's early days. Recreate your first dates, and plan exciting outings with novel surprises for each other. In fact, every day can be a surprise. Routine life often brings monotony to a relationship, but breaking the pattern once in a while, like planning a surprise for each other or embarking on a spontaneous trip; keeps things fun and exciting. In the early days, when you weren't living together, the relationship was fuelled by the excitement of anticipating what the other had in store. With patience, you can rekindle that connection once again.
To continue, or to end
It starts with having an honest conversation by acknowledging that there’s a drift and disconnect in the relationship. Sometimes, the other person may not see it unless it's pointed out. There should be consensus if there’s any chance of salvaging the relationship and continuing. If not, with mutual understanding and respect, end it peacefully. Staying in a relationship that's beyond saving is physically and mentally draining.